72 // via Nikon Coolpix L12: First tooth
“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Corinthians 13:11
I held her when she had gums, and I held her when she was teething. And I held her Monday when she showed me that she’d lost one of those teeth for the first time.
I didn’t think I’d get so emotional about it. Oh, I don’t mean crying and gushing and all that. That’s just not me. Stoic British genes.
But I’ve gotten a little nostalgic at every milestone for her and my son. The first smile, the first step, the first haircut.
I should be clear, though — all these events are about their rite of passage, for sure, not about me. That’s as it should be.
I’ll never let on about the slight halo of sadness. Each mile is a mile closer to the time when she won’t need me, or at least, not not in the way she does now.
There will be the first time she drives the car without me. There will be a time when she graduates, and moves away. And there will be a time when I say goodbye with finality.
And in part, that’s what these milestones are moving me toward, and why I must keep the sadness of them to myself, while holding the joy closer. And it is why I am so happy about the loss of her first tooth.
This is what I am meant to do. This is the role of a father.
“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” Corinthians 13:12
